by Rick Warren
“Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.” (1 Corinthians 13:7)
The world is so negative that the last thing kids need when they come home is more negativity. Colossians 3:21 says, “Do not nag your children. If you are too hard to please, they may want to stop trying” (NCV).
Are you an unpleasable parent? If they get Cs, do you want Bs, only to want straight As when they get Bs? Do you really want your kids to give up, like the Bible says? Unpleasable parents produce insecure kids.
So, how do you raise confident kids? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:7, “Love patiently accepts all things. It always trusts, always hopes, and always endures.” If you want to raise confident kids, you’ve got to build them up more than you tear them down. You’ve got to give more strokes than you give pokes. You’ve got to give more cheers than you give jeers.
Many parents think, “If I balance it out and give an equal amount of positive to the negative, it will be OK.” No! You need to give about 10 praises for every negative you give. Why? Because the negative is what you remember. If you were to get 10 compliments and one criticism, which one would you go home and remember? If I get 10 cards that say, “That sermon really helped me out a lot” and one that says, “You’re off the wall!” which one do you think I think about the most?
Every time you give a negative — a correction — you need about 10 positives on the other side of the scale to balance that out. They are not equal. You’ve got to overemphasize the positive, because you inevitably have to do the negative.
All children need somebody in their corner, somebody who’s their cheerleader and believes in them and who says, “I know you can do it. I believe in you. I think you’re terrific. You’re the best. Go for it! I’m behind you. I know you can make it.” Kids need the confidence that only a parent can give.