I feel so beaten down with all that is happening in my life. I feel like an elephant walked all over me and decided to take its time and just sit on me.
There were so many times in the past few days when I just wanted to really throw in the towel and give up. Give up fighting, give up hoping and just give up on life.
The reason why I’m still here is because I want to see my blessings. I keep on waiting for You and Your promises God. I wait every minute of the day for You to show up and show out in my life. I’m scared that if I give up now or today, I will miss my blessings and breakthroughs. I’m just so tired Lord. The enemy is really doing double time in his quest to create havoc and discord in life.
I know that You are there, please hear my cry. I don’t have anybody to turn to. I can’t do all of this alone. I need You Lord. With the amount of problems and challenges that are coming my way and facing all of these alone, I often wonder where did I go wrong in life to deserve this… It’s like mortal combat, UFC and WWF combined. From all corners… health, financial, emotional, family, friends, career… they are all taking hits.
Lord, two days from now, they will disconnect two of my utilities. Its three months worth of payments and I just can’t afford it anymore. I have been looking for a job for the past few months and still I haven’t heard from them. There is no one that I can go to. Most of my family turned their backs on me and my kid, my child’s father is still trying to oppress me in any way that he can, my bills are piling up and I have no source of income, I haven’t been feeling well the past few days and my child is sick on and off the past few days.
What a challenge huh? I know that You are not surprised from all that is happening in my life. You know the end from the beginning. But please Lord, I feel so beaten down. I am so tired. I have big dreams and you know all of them. I want to see them all Lord, I need You.
I often wonder if You are mad at me or something… If You are, I am so sorry for all of my sins. Please forgive me. Please come to my aid Father, I need You.
You said the moment I prayed, the tide of the battle turns to my favor… Why is it that the more I pray, the more challenges are thrown my way… Is the breakthrough so big and so amazing that the enemy is really trying his best to beat me and make me lose hope? Is that how it is?
Please Lord, help me. I am hanging by my fingernails and I am slipping bit by bit. Please be with me, come to my aid. I need You. Please remember me and my child. We need You so much Father. We need You so much…