The past few days, questions have been swarming in my head. I would often wonder and ask the Lord, Where is He taking me? What road should I take? Where is God leading me to? Why did God clear my path from so many obstructions? Why am I not seeing anything happening? What else can I give to the Lord so that I could see the miracles that I have been waiting for? Why is it taking so long?
I believe in the Lord and I know what He can do. But then again, I am still human and at times I still have questions. I wonder why its taking so long and I wonder why it’s all so quiet. Challenges are coming left and right, and we are practically living on fumes, so to speak. What am I to do?
I’ve been thinking about these questions and this post for the past few days. The thought that pops into my head is the narrow road and my choice to walk to through it. I chose to walk through the narrow road and right now I feel that the road is getting narrower and that everything is starting to close in on me.
I guess this is the ultimate test. I look back at all that I have been through and how far I have gone and I just can’t go back. I have gone this far and this long and I just can’t give up. Oh, don’t get me wrong, the temptation is there… That nagging voice that keeps on telling me that “if God wanted to bless you, He would have done it by now. It’s all your fault why this is all happening to you. You missed God’s blessing in your life and all you can do is submit to compromise and defeat.”
Yup! That is the enemy trying to deter me from all that I can be. I acknowledge the fact that he won’t stop pestering me until I finally throw in the towel and make a fool of myself.
Fat chance that’s gonna happen. Boy! I have been fighting and waiting for my victory for so long and I have gone so far to stop now. If the enemy thinks that he can push me over again and again and live a defeated life, he has something coming and that is my unequivocal NO! I don’t think so!
I plan to stay in faith. Yeah, it’s taking a long time and it’s really starting to take its toll on me at times. The worry, stress, the loneliness, the oppression… its like battle fatigue. I’m just tired at times. It’s easy to give up, yes it is… but I want to see the victory that is in store for me. I want to shout to the world that God is so good to me and that He has taken me out of the pit and put me in the palace. I want to look back on my life and see how amazing God really is and through Him I was able to see the fulfillment of my prayers.
It’s really a test of waiting, a trial of faith, especially when all is quiet and when nothing is happening in the natural. These are the times when you wonder if God is listening to your prayers and if you are just a bit worthy of His grace and mercy.
The narrow road is really a tough road to go through. When you stand in faith, you will be tested up until breaking point.
I say this, write this and read this for my strength… I will stay in faith. I will continue my walk through the narrow road. I believe that God is beside me every step of the way. I know that I am close to my victory. I just need to hold on…
Psalm 18:2 Amplified Bible (AMP)
2 The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress, and my Deliverer; my God, my keen and firm Strength in Whom I will trust and take refuge, my Shield, and the Horn of my salvation, my High Tower.